Life is full of transitions. Every time we move on to a new stage in life, we take some of our old selves and our existing support community with us, but we also need to find new sources and resources for support and a sense of belonging. As a parent, I’ve tried to model for my kids how to settle into new environments, find a role for oneself and identify the people that will generously share themselves and this new space with us and, eventually, become the tribe we rely on. It seems to me to be one of the most important life skills I can pass on to my kids to ensure their safety, success and wellbeing in the world, especially now that I am no longer there to usher them through each new step forward.
While we are headed back to school as usual, the circumstances of this Fall are anything but “usual.” Our virtual lives make it harder to connect and develop personal attachments. Even so, teachers, mentors and fellow students offer welcoming resources for LGBTQ+ kids and their families so that we all can know we have a community out there wherever we go.
Among my friends, almost all of them are sending a kid off to some form of college experience this fall. This is an unsettling time even in the best of years. Letting go of our kids and sending them off on their own for the first time is so bittersweet – it hurts like crazy, but, of course, it’s the goal we’ve been working toward all this time. Kids seemingly can’t wait to be free of us, but they’re often terrified and excited in equal measure. Knowing they can find resources to ease their first solo outings into the world can reduce at least some of the anxiety for all of us.
I found a lot of comfort in talking with Angela Simon, professor of psychology at El Camino College and the co-chair of their GSA. Hearing about her dedication and the academic, support and social offerings that the school makes available to its LGBTQ+ students, everything from PRIDE events to free therapeutic counseling and health services, gave me a lot of comfort. Similar programs exist at almost every college in the country. You can read my interview with her below and you can hear more about what’s going on at El Camino when Sal Navarro joins our September 1 st PFLAG meeting to talk about the “El Camino College LGBTQIA+ Safe Zone Project Initiative: Working Together Towards Justice for All.”
GSAs at colleges, local high schools and even some middle schools, mentoring and statewide protections for our LGBTQ+ youth all make up part of the fabric supporting our kids as they make their way in the world. As a PFLAG chapter, we constantly work to ensure that these valuable supports are available and known to our LGBTQ+ kids and their families.
Wishing you all a safe & fulfilling fall!
Cindy Byrne President, PFLAG Manhattan Beach/South Bay
“When students feel safe and supported, they are truly ready and able to learn.”
Everything we do here at PFLAG Manhattan Beach/South Bay is possible only because of the commitment & enthusiasm of our amazing volunteers! This month we salute Emily, who is an original “Mama Bear,” a trained facilitator and a resource for all kinds of community and professional connections. Emily’s superpower is her high-wattage smile, warmth & genuine curiosity that will make anyone feel immediately at home in our community.
Read MoreCalifornia law provides some robust protections for LGBTQ+ youth in our schools. But a child’s school experience depends entirely on how fully those policies are implemented and enforced at each individual school.
Equality California, the nation’s largest statewide LGBTQ+ civil rights organization, has surveyed public school districts throughout the State of California to compile its “Safe and Supportive Schools Report Card” to help assess just how well those policies are being implemented within our local school districts. The Report Card is a publicly available resource which provides clear guidelines for districts seeking to improve school climate and serves as a valuable tool for community members to advocate in their districts for LGBTQ+ inclusive policies.
Author Chris Records, EQCA Program Manager, has some suggestions for helping kids to navigate their new virtual school realties and continuing to ensure their safety and wellbeing.
Read MoreTrans youth may have very little exposure to other trans people, people who have walked in their shoes and had experiences consistent with their own. They are even less likely to personally know an adult trans role model. Based on his years of experience reaching out to mentors in every stage of his life and now working professionally to mentor trans youth, Beck Gee-Cohen writes that his job “is only to model a life that can be possible. To celebrate being authentic and all the things good bad and ugly that come along with living one’s truth. If I can do that, then I have done my job, if only for today.”
Read MoreGay-Straight Alliances, Gender-Sexuality Alliances, or “GSAs,” as they are commonly known, are powerful resources for LGBTQ+ youth. Guest author Stephan Oliveira shares that being part of his high school GSA gave him “a sense of safety and security which wasn’t common in my life at the time. For many students, a GSA’s primary function is to create this space for a vulnerable, underrepresented population.”
Read MoreAngela Simon is a professor of psychology at El Camino College and the long-serving co-chair of its GSA. Young staff with new energy is invigorating the services for LGBTQ+ youth at El Camino. Angela talks about what they have going on at El Camino and reassures parents & students alike that they will find robust and enthusiastic support and social opportunities for LGBTQ+ college students at most campuses around the country.
Read MoreTeenagers are social beings who crave intimacy and affirmation from their peers. On-line school just doesn’t offer the same opportunities for those critical social interactions, which can have an even greater impact on our LGBTQ+ kids. In our Spring newsletter, author, gender-affirming therapist, school counselor and PFLAG volunteer Christine MacInnis shared helpful guidance for supporting our LGBTQ+ students during these trying times. It may help to revisit and refresh these recommendations as we head “back to school.”
Read MoreMany parents come to PFLAG meetings desperately seeking information about the needs, rights of, and interventions on behalf of, their transgender, gender expansive, and non-binary kids. Attending one of the conferences sponsored by Gender Spectrum or Gender Odyssey is a super concentrated way to learn directly from the experts working in areas including medical intervention, legal rights and school inclusion, among so many others. PFLAG Board Member Isabelle Royer attended this year’s virtual Gender Spectrum Conference on July 16 – 17 and shares her experience attending this year’s incredible selection of workshops that enlighten and inspire parents and professionals alike.
Read MoreDoes your virtual classroom include visible signs, like Zoom backgrounds or posters, showing that you are LGBTQ affirming?
Are you normalizing pronoun sharing by sharing your pronouns, verbally, or by adding your pronouns to your name on your virtual platform if you have the option? Are you creating spaces for students to share their pronouns?
Are you establishing trust with LGBTQ students by using gender-inclusive and non-heteronormative language such as “students” instead of “boys and girls” and “family” or “caring adult” instead of “mom and dad”?
Can you confirm a private, virtual connection with an LGBTQ student that is not supported at home, so you can check-in with them about their family dynamic and brainstorm self-care strategies?
Have you addressed the greater risk for LGBTQ cyberbullying — as students overall spend more time online during this period of social isolation — by utilizing teachable moments to not only stop negative anti-LGBTQ language and behavior, but also to educate about LGBTQ terminology, history, and current events?
With LGBTQ drop-in centers closed and LGBTQ student clubs (i.e. GSA’s) no longer in session, are you sharing direct, online LGBTQ resources with your students that provide affirming support and connection for LGBTQ youth in virtual settings day or night — including the Trevor Project which offers 24-hours-a-day, 365-days-a-year confidential and online support for LGBTQ youth?
Taken from NEA’s EdJustice “In Response to COVID-19: A Checklist to Support LGBTQ Students During Distance Learning"
