Found in Transition: A Mother’s Evolution During Her Child’s Gender Change
Our Board member, Isabelle Royer (she/her/hers), finds commonality and shares her reactions to Paria’s new book:
Found in Transition: A Mother’s Evolution During Her Child’s Gender Change By Paria Hassouri, MD
We had the honor of having my friend Dr. Paria Hassouri join our Gender Expansive support group meeting this fall, just as she was launching her first book.
In her book and memoir, Found in Transition, Paria walks the reader through her journey as the mother of a transgender teen girl. She meticulously chronicles, with complete honesty and so much heart, her daughter’s coming out and transition alongside her own reflections as an Iranian-American immigrant, pediatrician, wife and mother walking a parallel, yet not so linear path.
At our meeting, Paria described finding the courage to write her story, as raw as it is, after realizing there weren’t other books out there relating a story like hers. An avid marathoner, Paria’s writing process happens while she runs and conversely there is a cathartic quality to her running as well. When she sat down to write her memoir, “it poured out of her in 4 months” using her journals, photos and memories.
Page after page, resistance, anger and disbelief collide with fierce protectiveness and unabashed deep “in your bones” love. During the writing process, she recognized that her daughter’s consent and input was highly important to both of them. In the end, this built a deeper understanding between them. Apparently the writing gene was passed on, as Paria reports that her daughter is now writing of her own experiences.
Paria’s words have been likened to “sandpaper on a sunburn,” as she courageously exposes on the page silent thoughts that I’d never admitted to myself. No subject is off limits and I saw myself in her writing. I recognized patterns and some of the challenges I and fellow parents continue to struggle with: the work, the “how” and the fear around social transitions, medical changes, affirming therapy, family memorabilia, birth names, sibling dynamics, reprioritizing your life, impact on marriage etc.
This is a true story of choosing triumph, love and thriving over fear in any and all things.
Isabelle
Isabelle Royer (she/her/hers) is a member of the PFLAG MB/South Bay board and leads our Gender Expansive Support meetings.
About Paria Hassouri (she/her/hers):
Paria is a pediatrician, mother of three, and transgender rights activist. She has written articles for multiple media outlets including The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, and The Huffington Post. A proud Iranian-American, she spent her formative years in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and currently resides and practices in Los Angeles. Found in Transition: A Mother's Evolution During Her Child's Gender Change is her debut book.